Why—Just why?

No seriously. Change my mind.

When you review your overworked friend's code

We all know there's no mercy!

Settling on something in the middle would be nice, but I guess that's not going to happen, is it?

Only partially satirical

FULL CIRCLEStolen from r/memes

Go away with your imaginary millions

I see here that you know SQL, but do you know MySQL?

Global Scope Considered Harmful

While they can't figure out where to put the semicolon, we will be fine